My First Menstrual Cycle

Signing on from New York,

This may be a random way to start this entire conversation, but sometimes I can be random. And at the end of this, I want to provide resources for quitting hormonal birth control for any women interested. Within that though, I feel the best way is to share a story all menstruating women have, the story of my first cycle.

From the pill to the NuvaRing to getting a copper IUD implanted, for me, none of them turned out to be right. I have battled intense mood swings, depression, weight gain, and just generally felt out of sorts at best. All in an effort to help with of super painful and heavy periods and then in an effort to be in control of my reproductive system. 

Now, don’t get me wrong! 

For as long as I can remember I have associated my period with pain.

I will NEVER forget the day I had my first menstrual cycle…

Because of the AGONY.

(And some other minor — read embarrassing — Details… Lol. Just keep reading.)

It was the week of my 12th birthday. 

A very big deal in the life of any pre-teen. As a matter of fact, it was five days until my actual day. And I was vacationing with my godmother and her family. Sadly, I was absolutely sure I had a stomach virus. My back was inflamed in pain and my stomach ached. About three days after the symptoms started, and two days before my birthday, IT happened. 

I woke up early one morning desperately needing to use the bathroom. The one I’d normally use was occupied and I was left with the less than glamorous pool bathroom. I’ll spare you the intricate details but shortly after handling my biz, I realized something was not normal. Since I obviously didn’t have any pads, I improvised by rolling up some toilet paper and then went to tell my godmother what I suspected had happened: 

In a faint whisper, I said,

“Hey Aunt Judy, ummm I think I just got my period.” 

-Little scared & hurting 12-year-old me.

Being the discrete New Yorker that she is, 🙄 she immediately starts screaming at the top of her lungs: 

“O M G! YOU GOT YOUR PERIOD?!? I CAN’T BELIEVE YOUR MOTHER WOULD DO THIS TO ME! DEANIE DID THIS ON PURPOSE, I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE LEFT ME TO DEAL WITH THIS!” 

-My amazing godmother, no seriously, she’s amazing. This is just a funny story, don’t judge! Lol.

Talk about embarrassing. 

I was mortified. 

Then I had ‘the talk’ where I was informed that I had become a young fertile all-American woman, experiencing her very first menstrual cycle. Once I was able to process what had happened, my first question was,

“why did it have to hurt so bad?” 

-Little scared & hurting 12-year-old me.

To which all the adults around me responded something like,

“Everyone deals with pain, you’ll get over it!” 

-Battle-hardened black women teaching me a valuable lesson about pain.

I had always known there would be discomfort and cramping but I had never expected it to feel like this. I would ask my aunt during the next 7 days of my newfound womanhood over and over,

“Are you sure this is really supposed to feel THIS BAD?” 

-Little scared & hurting 12-year-old me.

She’d tell me yes and that I would have to learn to deal with it. And that, my friend, is how I became a woman. Learning to expect and accept agonizing pain for reasons that no one could quite explain to me. I used to wonder things like,

“why me?” & “did everyone experience their periods this way?”

-Getting older and still hurting me.

But then I would ask a friend about their menstrual and it would be nothing like what I was experiencing. So, I just started to make the assumption in my head that I was different.

Fast forward 19 years.

Nineteen long years of pain, nausea, illness, and unsuccessful bouts of hormonal and non-hormonal birth control. After NINETEEN long years…

I was diagnosed with Stage IV Endometriosis. 

“Why did you wait so long to seek medical attention for pain this intense non a monthly basis?”

-My diagnosing doctor.

“Because doc, when I tried to – everyone told me I was overreacting, and I needed to deal with it.”

-Nikki.

Thank you for reading the story of my very first menstrual cycle. Stay tuned to learn how I coped with pain over the 19 years if you find yourself in a similar position. 

In Health,